"We've decided to separate." When a couple says this in my office, my next question surprises them: "Which kind?" They usually look at each other, confused — and understandably so. Nobody teaches you how to separate, and most couples believe separation is one thing: a pause, a gap, a held breath between married and not. In more than 20 years as a Marriage and Family Therapist, I've learned that this assumption is where separations go wrong. A separation creates distance, but to what end?...

I see couples who rely on therapy as the final decider for the path of their marriage. But when they conclude they've done all they could and divorce is the next step, the immediate question is: "How do we tell the kids?" I know in that moment they're not just asking for the right words. What loving parents are really pleading is: How do we tell them without breaking them? I've helped parents plan that conversation for more than 20 years as a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. But my...

Many adults are limiting or cutting off contact with their parents—not out of impulsivity or fragility, but as a boundary of last resort. In my therapy practice, I sit with people on both sides of this divide: adult children navigating guilt and grief after creating distance, and parents trying to understand how the relationship unraveled. What I see, over and over again, is this: estrangement is rarely about indifference. It’s about emotional exhaustion. What’s missing from the conversation...