The Guided Separation Agreement
Separating without a plan is how the same fight follows you into two houses.
The Guided Separation Agreement is a step-by-step workbook that walks you and your spouse through the decisions that matter most — communication, children, money, and boundaries — so you both know exactly where things stand, even when you don't agree on where things are going.
No one teaches you how to separate.
There's no shortage of advice about staying married, and no shortage of lawyers once you've decided to divorce. But the space in between — separation — is where couples are left completely on their own.
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And that's exactly where things go wrong. Not because people are cruel, but because everything is suddenly undefined. Can he stop by the house? Who's paying the credit card? What do we tell the kids? Is she going to start dating?
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When those questions go unanswered, couples don't get space to think. They get the same arguments, replayed in a new and more painful context.
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After more than twenty years as a couples therapist, I can tell you the pattern with confidence: it's rarely the separation itself that does the damage. It's the ambiguity.
Clarity is kindness.
The Guided Separation Agreement gives you the structure that this season is missing. It's the same framework I use with couples in my practice — organized into a private, self-paced workbook the two of you complete together. Inside, you'll work through:
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The three types of separation — restoration, trial, and pre-divorce — so you can each name what this separation is, even if you don't agree. (Most separations fail because two people were quietly living two different separations.)
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The eight conversations that prevent conflict:
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How you'll communicate — and when a text is not enough
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How you'll parent together, and what your children will hear from you
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How you'll respect each other's homes and space
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How money will be handled — joint expenses, spending thresholds, debt
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Which family moments you'll still show up for, together
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What your relationship with each other looks like right now
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Whether dating others is on or off the table — said out loud
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What gets shared with friends, family, and co-workers, and what stays private
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Every section follows the same rhythm: reflect privately, then come together, then write your agreement down.​
Because a boundary you define now is
an argument you don't have later.
For couples in every kind of separation.
Whether you're hoping this separation saves your marriage, using it to decide, or preparing for divorce — this guide meets you there. It doesn't push you toward reconciliation or toward divorce. It pushes you toward clarity.
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It's for you whether you're the one who initiated the separation, the one responding to it, or you're both still deciding what this is.
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The only requirement: a willingness from both of you to answer honestly.
What's inside?
A 15-page guided workbook, yours immediately.
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The Three Types of Separation framework
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8 guided conversation sections with private reflection prompts
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"Our agreement" documentation space in every section
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A 4-step process for working through it together
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A built-in review date, so the agreement evolves with you
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Instant PDF download — print it, or type into it from any device
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$37 — less than a fraction of a single therapy session, for the framework I use inside them.
Written by a therapist who has sat with this a thousand times.
Dr. Nari Jeter is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Gottman-trained clinician with over 20 years of experience helping couples navigate the hardest seasons of their relationships. Her work has been featured in national outlets including Newsweek, USA Today, SELF, and HuffPost.
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She created this guide for the couples she sees
every day: people who are hurting, uncertain,
and still trying to do this well.
FAQs: Questions couples ask before buying
Is this a legal document?
No — and that's intentional. This is an educational and relational tool for clarifying expectations between the two of you. It is not a substitute for legal counsel, and if you're pursuing a legal separation or divorce, you should consult a licensed attorney in your state. Many couples use this guide before involving attorneys, so they arrive at those conversations already clear on what they want.
What if my spouse won't participate?
Start anyway. Every section begins with private reflection — knowing your own needs and boundaries has value even if your spouse never opens the guide. Many reluctant spouses become willing when they see the process is structured and fair rather than a setup for blame. And if they still won't engage, what you've written becomes the clearest possible starting point for a conversation with a therapist or mediator.
We're not sure we're separating yet. Is this premature?
No. Working through these sections often is the deciding process. Naming what a separation would actually involve — the boundaries, the logistics, the intentions — brings a level of honesty that vague "maybe we need space" conversations never reach.
Do we each need our own copy?
One purchase is fine for a couple. Print two copies of the reflection sections so you can each complete them privately before coming together.
Is this only for married couples?
It's written with married couples in mind, but the framework applies to any committed partners navigating a separation — especially those sharing children, finances, or a home.
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What's your refund policy?
Because this is an instant digital download, all sales are final. If you have trouble accessing your file, email nari@drnarijeter.com and we'll make it right.
However this season ends, let it be a direction you chose.
You can't control every part of what happens next. But you can decide, together, how you'll treat each other while it happens — and that decision shapes everything: the conflict your children witness, the money that gets spent in confusion, and the person you are on the other side of this.
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Replace assumption with agreement. Start tonight.