Is Marriage Counseling Right For You? Exploring Prevention vs. Cure Approaches

Everything in our lives requires maintenance, and sometimes, repair. We change the oil and tires on our cars. We cut and/or color our hair. My coffee maker repeatedly reminds me that I have to change the water filter and from time-to-time, de-scale the built up residue from inside of it. I believe that most of us would agree that if we want our bodies and our things to last and function well, we should maintain them. Furthermore, when we forget or ignore regular required maintenance, we can be assured that things may only get worse over time. The same goes for marriage. We must make continual investments in this vital relationship that involves attempting to prevent problems before they arise, or deal with issues that may have caused some damage.

In our relationships, maintenance involves making continual investments in others and ourselves. It means focusing on the positive, minimizing the negative, enjoying the times of peace, and working through the struggles. However, sometimes repair is needed. Whether intentional or accidental, negative things in our relationships accumulate and can stifle our growth.

Marriage counseling can be beneficial to help with both maintenance and repair in a relationship. Many of us have primary physicians with whom we check in yearly, who know our health history, and who are available to help us with an array of health issues, both preventative and corrective. In the same manner, by developing a relationship with a marriage counselor early on in your relationship, you and your partner have already laid the groundwork for your relationship and may feel much more comfortable talking with him/her during more urgent times.

In either circumstance (preventative or repair), marital counseling can be a tool to strengthen, enhance, and even save a relationship. Not sure what to expect from marital counseling or where to even find a counselor/therapist? Here are some resources:

• This is a Huffington Post article I wrote about five things to expect in marriage counseling.

• You can hear more about the myths and misconceptions of couples therapy in Season 1, Episode 2 of my podcast, The Coupled Podcast.

• Psychologytoday.com is a great online tool to find counselors/therapists in your area. You can read counselors' profiles, areas of expertise, and locate their contact information on this site.

About the Author

Dr. Nari Jeter is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice in Tallahassee, Florida. She specializes in working with couples across a range of relationship stages, including premarital preparation, marriage, infidelity, divorce, and remarriage. With a deep passion for helping people build strong, healthy connections, she has partnered with her friend and colleague, Dr. Jenna Scott, to expand access to meaningful resources for couples. Together, they co-host The Coupled Podcast and offer convenient, affordable online relationship courses.